How to Win Friends and Influence People · Uncategorized

How to Win Friends and Influence People – Chapter 5

A Simple Way to Make a Good First Impression



I have heard the expression, “you only get one chance to make a first impression.”  Each time I hear people recite this statement, I seem to get a mental picture in my head of all the people I didn’t really care for when I first met them, but now find it hard to imagine a life without them.

My husband is one of those people.  Of course I found him interesting during our initial meet and greet but it was later on our first date when he showed me something few people got to see that I really warmed up to him.  I know, I know – what does any of this have to do with this chapter?  Well the thing he showed me was his smile.  A genuine smile that reached from corner to corner and elongated his eyes while showing each of his 32 teeth.

Of all the things we talked about on that first date the only thing I remember clearly is the way he smiled.  That’s what the focus of this chapter is, the way we reach people through the small act of smiling.  In my opinion, smiling is one of those underrated qualities that should be taught and demonstrated to children throughout their development.  Then it becomes as natural of a behavior to them as breathing.  

Throughout this chapter, emphasis is placed on the benefits this one act has on those who surround us.  I enjoyed this topic and have indicated a few note worthy quotes and simple questions for reflection below.

Notable Quotable: 

1. “the expression one wears on one’s face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one’s back.” – Dale Carnegie 

2. “People who smile tend to manage, teach and sell more effectively, and to raise happier children. There’s far more information in a smile than a frown. That’s why encouragement is a much more effective teaching device than punishment.” – Professor James V. McConnell

3. “..people rarely succeed at anything unless they have fun doing it.” – Dale Carnegie 

4.  “You must have a good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.” –  Dale Carnegie 

5. “Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.” – William James

6. “It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.” – Dale Carnegie

Questions for Reflection:

1.  What did the stockbroker learn during his smile experiment?

2.  What are the two things the author said you should do if you don’t feel like smiling?

3.  What does the author indicate as the one sure fire way to find happiness?

4.  What is the Chinese Proverb that the author suggests we cut and paste into our hats?

5. What can be learned from the “Value of a Smile” advertisement during Christmas?

Strategy for Success:  

Challenge yourself to smile at everyone you come into contact with.  It may be the only smile they receive that day.

Til next time,

“Leadership comes in small acts as well as bold strokes” – Carly Fiorina

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How to Win Friends and Influence People · Uncategorized

Chapter 4 How to Win Friends and Influence People

Do this and you will be welcome anywhere

I love the title of this chapter, be welcome anywhere. What an empowering and exciting feeling to know that it is in our control to ensure that we are welcome most places.  Reality tells me that there are people who will make us feel unwelcome because of their own biases.  But this chapter reminds me of the blessings we receive when we do our parts to make others feel valued. 

Each chapter I read reminds me of the simplicity of each principle detailed.  None of the actions require technology or money, they only require desire to implement. Below are a few notable quotes from Chapter 4.

Notable Quotables:

1.  “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” – Dale Carnegie

2.  “It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.” – Alfred Adler

3. “I am grateful because these people come to see me. They make it possible for me to make my living in a very agreeable way. I’m going to give them the very best I possibly can.” – Howard Thurston

4. “If we want to make friends, let’s put ourselves out to do things for other people—things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness.” – Dale Carnegie 

5.  “We are interested in others when they are interested in us.” – Publilius Syrus

Questions to Prompt Additional Thought:

1.  What or Who is the greatest friend man has ever known? Who would you consider the greatest friend you have ever known? Why? Are you being a good friend?

2.  What is true of writing fiction and true of dealing with people?

3.  What does showing a genuine interest do for your company? Family? Friendships?

4.  How do both parties benefit from a genuine interest in others?

5.  What principle should be kept in mind if you want people to like you?

Strategy for Success:

Practice genuine interest in others by listening to their needs and making at least one need a priority to resolve.

Til next time,

“From caring come courage” – Lao Tzu