How to Win Friends and Influence People · Uncategorized

How to Win Friends and Influence People, Chapter 2 

“The Big Secret of Dealing with People” – Chapter 2, How to Win Friends and Influence People

Many thoughts filled my head as I read this chapter.  One of my first thoughts is that this book should be mandatory reading for all who endeavor to hold a leadership role or own a business.  The second thought was that I should have read this book a long time ago and my final thought was that I will read it again.  I know, two chapters in and I am already planning to read the book again.

My reasons for planning to read it again is that this chapter is a practical reminder of values and practices that should be a requirement for how we interact with others. I can’t help but to think about what our communities would look like if we practiced appreciating the work of others and actually demonstrated that appreciation.

Mr. Carnegie details attributes that I want to teach my children.  In fact I am going to make a conscious effort to practice appreciation to those around me.  Indicated below are my observations including my favorite quotes and questions for reflection.

Favorite Quotes:

1.  “The desire for a feeling of importance is one of the chief distinguishing differences between mankind and the animals.” – Dale Carnegie

2.  “If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I’ll tell you what you are. That determines your character.” – Dale Carnegie

3.  ““There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault.” – Charles Schwab

4.  “We often take our spouses so much for granted that we never let them know we appreciate them.” – Dale Carnegie

5. “We nourish the bodies of our children and friends and employees, but how seldom do we nourish their self-esteem?” – Dale Carnegie

6.  “One of the most neglected virtues of our daily existence is appreciation.” – Dale Carnegie

Questions for Reflection:

1.  What does the author say is the only way to get someone to do something?

2.  John Dewey said the deepest urge in human nature is?

3.  Lincoln once began a letter with?

4.  How do you get your feeling of importance?

5.  Why did Schwab say he was paid his salary of a million a year?

6.  When was the last time you spoke words of appreciation to those around you?  When was the last time you spoke words of criticism?  Is it time for you to speak appreciation to others?

7.  What is the difference between appreciation and flattery?  Which do you prefer? Why?

Til next time,
“Let’s cease thinking of our accomplishments, our wants. Let’s try to figure out the other person’s good points. Then forget flattery. Give honest, sincere appreciation.” – Dale Carnegie 

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How to Win Friends and Influence People

Influence Friday: Chapter 1

“If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive” – Chapter 1, How to Win Friends and Influence People

Fridays are great days to start a new conversation about a great book so let’s discuss chapter 1 of our new book.  The title of this chapter alone reminds me of the old saying , “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” Doesn’t the thought of honey just fill your mind with pure sweetness and authenticity. Or maybe that is what comes to my mind only.  

As much as I enjoy putting analyzing  what I read.  I want to try something new for the reading and posting of How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.  There is so much timeless information enclosed, I want to focus on the quotes I found to be the most memorable and practical for the way we live today.  Thus I am going to include quotes that speak to the following:

1. Personal beliefs – these are those areas that we have to work on recognizing in order to influence change.

2. Wisdom – lessons learned through life experience.

3.  Practical applicability – information which is timeless and applicable to life circumstances of today and the future.

Favorite Quotes:
1.  “Under my coat is a weary heart, but a kind one—one that would do nobody any harm.” – Two Gun Crowley

2.  “John Wanamaker, founder of the stores that bear his name, once confessed: “I learned thirty years ago that it is foolish to scold. I have enough trouble overcoming my own limitations without fretting over the fact that God has not seen fit to distribute evenly the gift of intelligence.” – Dale Carnegie

3.   “Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.” – Dale Carnegie

4.  “Let’s realize that criticisms are like homing pigeons. They always return home. Let’s realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself, and condemn us in return” – Dale Carnegie

5. “Judge not, that ye be not judged.” – Abraham Lincoln

6.  “When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity. ” – Dale Carnegie

Application Step:

Take a few moments and read the poem “Father Knows Best.”  

Reflect on how this poem is applicable to your life today.  

Is there someone you are expecting too much from and not cherishing?  How can you change the situation?

Til next time,

“Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it. But why not begin on yourself? From a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more profitable than trying to improve others—yes, and a lot less dangerous. “Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof,” said Confucius, “when your own doorstep is unclean.”” – Dale Carnegie