There was a random encounter I had at my local Target (Tarjay to most of us) today which hurt my heart but also inspired me. During the checkout lane I commented on how I enjoyed the author of a book the woman in front of me was purchasing. I mentioned that I was currently reading another book by the author and informed her that I had also gifted the book to someone.
Now before I go on, I am not the person who randomly strikes up a conversation with the person in line. I am usually the person focusing on their phone so that they won’t have to talk with the chatty Tarjay customers. So I truly believed the person was making a good purchase.
The woman thanked me and reported that she has been working with an employee and trying to coach her performance towards acceptable measures. Today the employee admitted that her husband was the reason she couldn’t get it together. He had told her so many times that she wasn’t worth anything and she couldn’t get his words out of her head.
I feel I can tell you that I was angry for that woman!
But I don’t know that employee so I said – “thank you for thinking enough of your employee that you are willing to continue working with her while building up her confidence.” She politely thanked me for recommending the book and said she planned to read it along with the employee.
This saddened me and there were a few things I would have loved to share with that unsupported wife. Since I can’t tell her, maybe there is someone else who needs a pep talk. So let me give you a small one:
It’s important that everyone understand that everyone that is with you is not for you. Everyone you are with, may not be the ones to uplift you. That doesn’t mean you have to leave those people (I can’t advise on that because I don’t know you) but it does mean you have to empower and encourage yourself.
In case you have never been told this:
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” – Eleanor Roosevelt
There are people in your life who are supposed to love you and lift you up. Unfortunately, sometimes these people are the ones who hurt you the most. But once you reach the age where you can make decisions for your own life or recognize that it is time for you to make decisions for yourself, decide to surround yourself with people and things that will lift you up.
Think of it this way, you are like a balloon you pick out from a selection of balloons on the wall. That balloon is flat and has a shiny exterior that can be seen by all who pass it by. But on the inside it is empty and waiting to be selected and filled up with helium. Once the helium is inserted, the balloon floats and soars for all to gaze upon.
Here’s five (5) ways you can allow a balloon to remind you of your worth:
1. You have a shiny exterior. It’s smiling back at you.
2. You deserve to be selected. And you were.
3. You deserve to be filled. And you will be.
4. You deserve to soar. You are on the way up.
5. Your helium is what you allow to nourish your spirit and your heart. It is the support network you create even if it’s through books, podcasts, books, classes or journaling.
Withdraw your consent to believe that you are not worthy. Stop at the nearest store which offers balloons and pick one out for yourself. Take a selfie of yourself with that balloon and make it the wallpaper of your phone, tablet or computer. If you are into planners or journals, post that picture in there.
Let that photo remind you that you are worthy and about to soar. If you know someone who doubts their worth, be like that supervisor I met in Tarjay. Help build that person up either directly or indirectly through introduction to a helpful resource. Remember we all need a little encouragement every now and then.
Til next time,
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt