“The Big Secret of Dealing with People” – Chapter 2, How to Win Friends and Influence People

Many thoughts filled my head as I read this chapter.  One of my first thoughts is that this book should be mandatory reading for all who endeavor to hold a leadership role or own a business.  The second thought was that I should have read this book a long time ago and my final thought was that I will read it again.  I know, two chapters in and I am already planning to read the book again.

My reasons for planning to read it again is that this chapter is a practical reminder of values and practices that should be a requirement for how we interact with others. I can’t help but to think about what our communities would look like if we practiced appreciating the work of others and actually demonstrated that appreciation.

Mr. Carnegie details attributes that I want to teach my children.  In fact I am going to make a conscious effort to practice appreciation to those around me.  Indicated below are my observations including my favorite quotes and questions for reflection.

Favorite Quotes:

1.  “The desire for a feeling of importance is one of the chief distinguishing differences between mankind and the animals.” – Dale Carnegie

2.  “If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I’ll tell you what you are. That determines your character.” – Dale Carnegie

3.  ““There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault.” – Charles Schwab

4.  “We often take our spouses so much for granted that we never let them know we appreciate them.” – Dale Carnegie

5. “We nourish the bodies of our children and friends and employees, but how seldom do we nourish their self-esteem?” – Dale Carnegie

6.  “One of the most neglected virtues of our daily existence is appreciation.” – Dale Carnegie

Questions for Reflection:

1.  What does the author say is the only way to get someone to do something?

2.  John Dewey said the deepest urge in human nature is?

3.  Lincoln once began a letter with?

4.  How do you get your feeling of importance?

5.  Why did Schwab say he was paid his salary of a million a year?

6.  When was the last time you spoke words of appreciation to those around you?  When was the last time you spoke words of criticism?  Is it time for you to speak appreciation to others?

7.  What is the difference between appreciation and flattery?  Which do you prefer? Why?

Til next time,
“Let’s cease thinking of our accomplishments, our wants. Let’s try to figure out the other person’s good points. Then forget flattery. Give honest, sincere appreciation.” – Dale Carnegie 

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